Snow Day, Slow Day

Ever feel like the weather is running the show? When its 60 degrees and sunny, you are Queen of Productivity! On snow days you find yourself staring out the window wondering why you aren't at home with a cup of hot coco. Today was one of those days...

As a business owner, lazy days directly translate to how much you can spend at the grocery store next month! Sleeping late can become a nasty habit leading to missed marketing opportunities and missed deadlines. Here are a few suggestions for breaking the cycle and maintaining self-discipline in spite of the weather...

1) Designate an official work space. If you have a Type A personality (like me), this is a no-brainer. Whether at "home" or at "work," you've got a desk neatly organized with writing tools, paper, a computer, and all the essentials for productivity. You are prepared to keep trucking even when you're trapped away from the office by a blizzard. For my Type B friends, your alternate workspace is a corner of the couch. Time for a change! The couch will not suffice when all around you, the world whispers "watch a little tv... sip a little joe... take a little nap."

2) Keep important contacts in your cell phone as well as the office Rolodex. Last week I found myself in quite the pickle... I needed to call an important client whose telephone number I had left at the office. No secretary to call... no partner or associate... just me. I had to drive 30 minutes in the rain (and you know I hate driving in the rain). Don't let yourself fall into this trap. More often than not, you will choose to stay at home and call the client later.

3) Have a cup of coffee... or Postum :) My SDA friends know all about Postum, a coffee substitute sold by Kraft Foods. Growing up, I thought coffee was as forbidden as drugs and alcohol. In law school, I had to change my thinking a bit. Sometimes, a little boost from caffeine can really change the game on productivity levels. If you are still not interested in drinking caffeine (which I respect), try snacks high in protein and magnesium like nuts and bananas.

4) Exercise. Instead of taking a nap (RESIST), how about taking a jog? A study presented by the American College of Sports Medicine showed that employees who used their company gym were more productive than other employees. Personally, after working out, I feel empowered to check more things off of my "To Do" list. In the same way, when I take a nap, I oddly feel even sleepier. So again, RESIST.

5) Call a colleague. Remind yourself that the rest of the world is at work, and if you want to be successful, you should be at work too.

Finally, remember the wise words of my dear friend Confucius:

"Find a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life." I couldn't agree more. If you are happy with your career choice, you may actually find yourself itching to get up and go ...even on snow days.

Tortilla Soup

Today was just one of those icky, stay-at-home kinda days. The rain poured for hours... cold fast drops that slapped you in the face one-by-one. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't stay at home. I had to attend a 3 hour class. My drive downtown for the class was awful. You see, I drive a pretty "mature" car. She whines, and shakes, and doesn't de-fog windows in rainstorms! Sigh...It was pretty bad. I ended up hitting a pole in the parking garage *sigh again.*

Anywho, as a reward for enduring the weather (because I like rewarding myself for everything!), I came home and made a delicious tortilla soup! It was so yumolicious that I must share the recipe. Try it one wintery day. I pray your tummy and soul are warmed.

1 can black beans (rinsed)

2 14oz cans chicken broth

2 skinless boneless chicken breast (I secretly used canned chicken, shhh)

A little of this and that (sorry, I stopped measuring):

chopped onion

minced garlic

cumin

chilli powder, taco seasoning,

1 lemon (squeeze juice into the pot)

frozen corn

salsa

fresh cilantro

simmer chicken onion and garlic, throw everything into a pot, stir... Let simmer for 20 minutes.

Crunch some tortilla chips in the bottom of your bowl. Add soup. Sprinkle shredded cheese on top and be warm and fuzzy inside.

Twenty. Five.

Ten years ago, the most important thing to me was not important at all. I can't remember one thing that I stressed about, not one. That's why today I celebrated simplicity. I sat still and breathed deeply. I prayed and baked and watched three movies. I did. not. stress.

I'd like to think I'm entering a new era of maturity, of focusing on what matters - the moment.

I started to write a post about my 25 desires for the future... but really, I want only one thing. I want to live in the will of God. God's will is something that I can't control. God's will is something I'll never fully understand. But, as frustrating as that can be, I am so overjoyed to know that no stress is required. I cannot plan a faster route or freak out about the minutia... I don't even know the destination! All I have to do is follow. And, trust that His plan is ALWAYS better than anything I could have come up with on my own.

Stolen wisdom from my Bermudian friend, Sook

The To-Do List Abyss

Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

Proverbs 31:17 (NIV) "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks."

Friend To Friend

Many of us check off neatly penciled boxes. Some draw lines through the tasks we've finished. A select few of us even add tasks that we've already completed to our list so that we've got accurate accomplishment records at the end of the day! (Present company included!) Some of us keep track of what we need to do each day in our heads, while others track progress of daily goals electronically.

There are days I fluff up my list. Instead of simply writing, "Do three loads of laundry," I'll create twelve list items to check off that read:

• Wash whites
• Dry whites
• Fold/hang whites
• Put away whites
• Wash colors
• Dry colors
• Fold/hang colors
• Put away colors
• Wash darks
• Dry darks
• Fold/hang darks
• Put away darks

Oh, how I love to check boxes! Why? I want to be a productive woman. I want my work to matter. It's pretty much a daily struggle for me. As an eternal optimist, I wake up anticipating that the seconds, minutes, and hours of each day will bend to cooperate with the demands of my list.

Yeah, right.

I'm such a dreamer. It just never seems to work out that simply or efficiently.

I'm guessing that you are in this daily struggle with me. Right? No matter what it looks like, thinks like, or prints off like, many of us feel overwhelmed by the abyss of a rarely satisfied to-do list. We face constant demands that call to us and vie for our attention. We sift through the essentials and the fire drills, then we go to bed, wake up, and do it all again. The abyss of a to-do list can be so exhausting!

The good news is that we don't need to face our lists alone. God offers to come along side of us daily to provide the strength, perspective, and wisdom we need. He helps us prioritize our days when we turn to Him in prayer. In the Bible, we read of a woman who approached each day with God-power and God-perspective:

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks" (Proverbs 31:17, NIV).

Though this is an impressive statement about her work ethic and though it seems this fictional womandominates her daily to-do list, it's important to consider the source of her strength: God. At the end of the chapter, Scripture shows us that she "...fears the Lord..." (Proverbs 31:30, NIV). Her source of strength is rooted in faith and in her dependence on God. Ours should be, too.

Your list looks different from mine. We all have unique ministries, friendships, jobs, responsibilities, and families. Whether you are in the work force, unemployed, or retired or a stay-at-home mom, a single mom, or an empty nester - a wife, a widow, a single woman, or a divorcee - God can and will give you strength for each day when you prioritize Him and fear Him.

Consider the following verses:

"Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" (Galatians 3:3, NIV).

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:28-31, NIV).

God longs to strengthen your arms for the tasks on your to-do list today. Place time with Him as your first priority. Check your God-box. Go to Him now. Pray. Listen. Call on Him for direction, wisdom, renewal, and strength. Strong arms await you, girlfriend!

Let's Pray

God, I was created by You and for You. Please forgive me when I rush into a day without calling on You for my strength. I need you, Lord. Please prioritize my heart and my list today.

In Jesus' Name I pray,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read Proverbs 31:25-26: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

How closely do you relate to the above verse?

What steps need to be taken in your life to move toward a deeper dependence on God's strength verses your own? Are you willing to go there? Take a moment to talk to God about it.

Open letter on Love and Marriage (with children)...

Today is a new day. We're not teens anymore... the dating scene has new players and many of them have divorces and children under their belts. For some reason, step-parenting is still taboo in the church (time to change... its all around us). Here are a couple pics of my favorite celebrity blended families (shamelessly silly I know):

Russell Simmons and his brood...

Kris Kardashian and her crowd...

Most single woman over 25 have been forced to broaden their views on what constitutes an "eligible bachelor." If you are still in the bunch saying "I'll never date a divorced man or a man with kids'" ...then good luck with that one!

This morning, I got a text message from a friend looking for advice on dating a man with children... She asked SO MANY good questions that I have to share my response with you. I applaud her openness in seeking advice. I encourage you to share this with your friends considering the role of step-motherhood...

Disclaimer: This is definitely a work-in-progress! I'm interested to hear if you agree or disagree with the advice that I shared, so feel free to give feedback...

Dear friend:

To answer your questions -

First Q - how to make it work and get to the point of saying I DO?

I know that God led us together and brought us to the point of saying I DO. Sometimes, with relationships, success comes in NOT planning and simply trusting God's will and just living your life. If He wants you to be in love with your boyfriend and eventually get married, He will make that so plain to you that you have no choice but to follow Him.

Next Q - how to plan quality time?

When we first met, Chris had custody of the kids every other week! This meant that often, I could only hang out with him every other week! I was very anxious about spending time with him. I would even shamefully get a little jealous of the time he had to spend with the kids. But you have to:

1. realize that a father spending time with his kids is invaluable, so appreciate what he is doing and have patience;

2. realize that because you are dating a man with kids, you are going to get LESS QT than you would with a man without kids. If you are really needy, and you love attention like that, then you may want to reconsider. You dont want to come between a father and his children. You can be a blessing to all of them if you have patience and are willing to share your man with his children.

3. realize that in time, if it's Gods will, you will get married and be a family. With patience, you will get to the point where you dont have to share him like that because you will all be spending time together for the most part.

Next Q - how to keep your relationship healthy and spiritually rooted?

Keeping your relationship wholesome can be a challenge. One great quote is "Feed the Spirit, starve the flesh." This means, introduce positive things into your relationship - good music, christian activities, christian couples to hang out with, devotion, spiritual conversation, etc. Starve the flesh means be smart about avoiding compromising situations. This is all very generic advice, but we can talk in person on this one more if you want... Great question!

Next Q - how long to wait before meeting the kids?

I suggest meeting children before you officially start dating. They called me Ms. Raquel (to show respect) and I was introduced as "daddy's friend." This was important for several reasons:

(1) if you are going to date a man with kids, then you are going to also be in a relationship with the kids. You are not simply deciding that you like the man. You must also decide if you like the way he has raised his children, and want to be in their lives...

(2) I made sure that the meeting was interactive and not just a date with me and chris with the kids on the side... We went swimming and played video games (do stuff that they like to do). That initial meeting will often shape the way the children feel about you in the future. Try not monopolize their dad's time. Also, dont try super hard to impress them and be all in their faces... in the future that kind of behavior will set the wrong precedent.

(3) At the end of the afternoon I went home - gotta keep things appropriate to be a good example. One day they may be your step-kids, and you wouldn't want them to stay out late over a new boyfriend or girlfriend's house etc...

There is so much I could say about meeting the kids -

- Be patient. Decide if you want to be in his life seriously before he introduces you as his girlfriend. You dont want the kids to grow up with a warped sense of dating because they saw daddy date every girl on the block....

Next Q: how do you handle Mama Drama?

- we didn't have any AT ALL. This is important. Chris established and set the tone from the very beginning. He has a relationship with his children that is familial and loving and interactive and permanent. He has a relationship with their mother that is cordial and respectful, temporary (until the kids are 18) and has boundaries (no midnight calling/texting/screaming/fighting/foolishness). Its important that he convey this to the mother of his children because the way that he treats her will dictate the way that she treats you. When I first met the kid's mom, we hugged and chatted a little.... of course it was awkward. BUT there was no disrespect or drama, and that's the important part.

Last Q - how did you come to terms with dating a man with 3 kids

EG White writes about how step children are a blessing to wives. It's pretty deep. If you want to read it, I will share my copy of Adventist Home with you. Honestly, it took a LONG TIME to realize that the children were my blessing. I kept a lot of the doubt and confusion to myself (important... Telling all your friends and family if you're embarrassed or ashamed can hurt your relationship. It is sacred, so talk to each other. Its ok to share feelings with a trusted friend... but in the future, when you have come to terms with it, you dont want the whole community to look at you thinking about the negative feelings that you used to have).

I learned with time to present the kids to people positively because they are my blessing. When I introduced the kids to my extended family, they got a warm welcome because my family felt that I warmly welcomed them into my heart. If you marry this man, you will be their mommy too. You have to protect them from embarrassment and hurt... that's your job. So, practice being strong and not ashamed. Love and family is not at all about natural born children v. children inherited by marriage... It's about love and family, period. Family is what you make it.

Hope that helps a little. Call me anytime you just need to talk... I know what you're going through.

Raquel

By God's Grace...

I graduated from Vanderbilt University Law School.

I got an internship at the Federal Public Defender's Office to begin in September.

I am officially registered for BARBRI and taking the TN Bar.

I have been studying all day every day since my decision 48 hours ago!

I am thrilled to watch as God unfolds His plan for my life.

I have not lost my faith... and that is all folks! I'll be back to blogging (hopefully) in August!

Just a few more miles...

Today at noon I plan to hit "SEND" on my last email to a professor (as their student).... My LAST project for a grade and not a check!

Whew! ...It's quite overwhelming, and joyous, and exciting... and depressing. Why today of all days am I so discouraged? Sigh.

I have just a few more miles to the finish line, and that should make me happy. Instead I am overcome by the fear of what's on the other side of the line. No job... Sallie Mae... and another signed lease for an apartment in Nashville (a city that I'm ready to leave).

I'm sharing this because in spite of it all I'm hopeful and confident in my God, my husband (thank you Lord for Christopher), and myself. Someone reading this may be going through the same thing... Remember that God will never leave you nor forsake you, even when your friends and family aren't understanding or supportive. Remember that God's plan is greater than any plan that you could conjure on your own. Remember that He won't put more on you than you can bear, and that your bread and water will be sure. These verses never get old to me, because God's the same yesterday today and forever. He brought you this far... keep on striving until you reach your goal.

Trying to be a better servant.

Yesterday, my husband and I prayed for the Lord to reveal avenues for us to be servants. God desires that we love Him with all our hearts, AND serve Him with our whole lives. We've got the loving part down no doubt... but... honestly, there is room for improvement when it comes to service. Today's devotional (sent by my friend Brandon Rose) gave the perfect [simple] way to be a better servant - reading the word, living the word, and speaking openly about Scripture in conversation. Next time you are conversing with someone who needs encouragement, share Christ by sharing scriptures that encourage you. The Holy Spirit, through your words, will do the rest.

Read the full devotional below:

Deuteronomy 11:18-19 (NIV) ¹⁸Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ¹⁹Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

The Jews took this quite literally. Even today at the Western Wall you can see them fix the Scripture Boxes (phylacteries) to their foreheads and wrap their arms. Almost every home has a Scripture container on the doorframe.

There was a time in the USA when people included portions of Scripture in their daily conversation. The Bible was read daily by many, and many of our old expressions come from Scripture. That trend has all but died out. We rarely speak in the expressions of the Bible, and are even mocked when we quote Scripture. That shouldn't bother us though. The word of God is powerful and living and will accomplish God's purposes. If we speak the Scripture that God lays on our heart during a conversation, it will surely do its work.

For the Holy Spirit to bring it to memory, we should be reading it DAILY. We should be taking unhurried time to dwell on a passage. We should be memorizing it. Then it can be brought to our minds to be effective for us and for those with whom we communicate.

We have a duty to model this for our children, and teach them to do the same. The passage here is a good pointer for morning and evening devotions. The word should start AND end our day. It should also be a topic during the day.

Consider: How far are you from God's request? What will you do to change th

It's a New Day and God is Still Good...

Well, Teach for America says that I'm [not a good fit].

I'm reminded that God's plan for my life is greater, far greater than any plan I come up with.

Yesterday, it rained and stormed... I received bad news and was discouraged.... today the sun is shining and I'm inspired by my new-found freedom to explore opportunities. God is still good...

Taking pictures

Check me and my hubby!

RaChImages.blogspot.com

On working in a Corporate Law Firm:

"Not for me. Breaking my life into 6 minute increments is the biggest waste of my life."

~ a classmate.

Change.

Once upon a time we talked to friends on telephones...

Now we blog to the universe. If we're lucky, our friends may read and reply.

Once upon a time, through a letter... a conversation over tea... a slumber party.... we unfolded our feelings.

Now we tweet every passing thought... to the universe.

We used to celebrate great acting on television. Lucille Ball.

We now celebrate reality, as if a trip to the convenience store is news worthy. Kim Kardashian.

OMG and LOL are in the dictionary.

Sometimes I really think I miss the old days... but I'm into Keeping up with the kardashians and blogspot.com. I Facebook and one day I may tweet... I say OMG at least 10 times a day, and I text much more than I call.

I suppose tonight I'm just feeling the growing pains of CHANGE.

God Restores, Let Him

I used to think that people who sat in church and scribbled notes furiously were either 1) bored and trying to stay awake, 2) showy and trying to impress their neighbors with their display of righteousness, or 3) just dramatic... you know the shout-hallelujah-hop-all-around-the-sanctuary-waving-their-hand-and-screaming types... Wow! Praise God for spiritual growth and maturity. I was that person this Sabbath - notebook in hand, hand involuntarily lifted and uttering the occasional hallelujah and amen. The sermon was on point, and the pastor referenced a passage that we'd meditated on just a few days before...

Hebrews 11 - GOD's Faith Hall of Fame. If you haven't yet been introduced - its awesome! The writer goes through a list of heavy hitters who did illogical things based on faith and were rewarded... I mean, things that make you seem silly for doubting God and hesitating to keep the simple commands that we struggle with today. My favorite part of that passage comes in verse 32, when the writer basically says

What more can I say? I don't even have time to tell you about Gideon, Barak, Samson.... and the list goes on!

If you are struggling to believe, just try it and be encouraged.

I digress... This Sabbath, my blessing came from the sweet reminder that God restores.This means that if you've been broken (hurt, embarrassed, injured, abandoned), if you've ever yielded to sinful temptation, if you've ever drifted away from your relationship with the Lord... its ok. He wants to restore the joy and peace in your life. His yolk is easy and His burden is light. But here's the thing - we have to let Him. Did you know that we have the power to block our own blessing? Let Him change your life from sad to glad again. Its awesome.

A Good Time

... is often as simple as driving the extra mile to Publix even though you'll pass Kroger and Walmart on the way. I did that last Friday, and was so inspired by the clean floors and pleasant smiles that I bought things I never would have considered in another grocery store. Things like strawberries and peach preserves. I bought Pillsbury flaky croissant rolls and almond paste. Sometimes, all you need to have a good time, is to slow down in the middle of the grocery store and google a new recipe on your cell phone. I did that during my Publix trip... and later that night I came up with this!!!!

Dessert pizza! (actually pretty tasty)

Of course I also had to grab out-of-the norm toppings for the dinner pizza as well... Tried turkey pepperoni for the first time (thanks to Chris) and it was delish!

This is my boo, doing his thug thizzle in the kitchen with the pizza dough!

notice that his half (L) has meat and cheese while mine (R) has more refined ingredients like spinach and feta....

Our generous hosts and great friends!

It certainly pays to be easy to please! For me, that extra mile and a few fruits and veggies just made my night!

Spring in Bellevue

For Engaged Girls...

11 tips ...because I just married my best friend, and it was great! ...because the excitement is still hard to contain, and the details are still fresh. ...because when I was a bride-to-be, I asked recent brides for their best advice.

Here goes... Take em, or leave em! (They are in no particular order)

1. Involve your fiance enough to let him know that it's his day too. Listen. Incorporate the things that are important to him. It actually is his day too. Exclude him enough to get the job done. ALWAYS keep the lines of communication open.

2. Only spend what you have. It's ok to go over budget a little here and there, but think hard before you go into debt. After the day is done, you'll still be married. (How to stay in budget - prioritize your list with "must haves" at the top. Don't be afraid to chop the things on the bottom of the list when the money runs out).

3. DIY projects: only for creative brides with lots of free time. No experimenting with new craft/makeup/hair/sewing projects on your wedding day.

4. Only put things on your gift registry that you actually want.

5. DO NOT skimp on the money that you spend on your dress (unless that's just not your thing).

6. DO NOT skimp on the money that you spend on your photographer. Period. The pictures (and videos) are the only things that will last beyond the day. Great photos can make an inexpensive wedding look like a million bucks. A wack photographer can make your million dollar wedding look like hot cheese.

7. Be calm, respectful, and polite to all who are involved in helping you. Be gracious and properly thank people who were awesome during the process.

8. Keep God first in your relationship. Don't let the wedding-planning come before having worship with your boo, going on dates together, and being loving towards each other.

9. Don't send out invitations with a date and venue listed before you actually book the venue on that date... and don't start announcing a venue before you are certain that it's THE ONE (that you can afford and that you LOVE).

10. PACK YOUR WEDDING WEEKEND BAG like two weeks before the big day. Underwear, cute changes of clothes, socks, makeup... everything! If you're spending the weekend in a hotel, you don't want to be scattered all over the city trying to find your things. The last few days will be a whirlwind!

11. Remember why you are planning a wedding - its not for the wedding day, its for the marriage. So, don't sweat the small stuff!

Congratulations! You'll be beautiful! Smile pretty :) Everybody is taking your picture.

What am I going to do after I graduate?!?

That's what everyone is wondering...

Just a few years ago, a student at a T1 law school would win any bet on having a firm job. At firms big and small, 1st year associates were welcome... money was flowing. Now, things have changed. Thankfully, God has a plan for my life - one greater than any plan that I could come up with on my own. For those who do not rest in that sweet confidence, this is a very stressful time.

This month's ABA Journal included a story about a law student who decided to create (or rather, modify) an online bidding service where clients can select lawyers who bid the lowest rate hoping to get some work! Pretty sad that we have resorted to "E-bay lawyering..." Still, I say kudos to the kid who came up with it. It's time to embrace the change in times and think outside the box. I'm thinking of teaching and business and art... Not because I am afraid of the law. I'm actually grateful for the recession which has given me an "excuse" for boldly switching gears.

For anyone who considers harshly judging a graduating law student who has chosen a different path... think again (after reading some stats on the job market).

Perspective: Spring at Vanderbilt

Photography is more about creativity and perspective than equipment or "skill." The photographer's eye is trained to aim from artistic angles to capture depth in a flat frame... trained to compose a photo so that the simplest of subjects can be interesting... The great photographer's mind is bright and ever active.

Oh to be...

I am blessed to study on such a beautiful campus!

Love love love the cherry blossoms!!!

God is the master artist!!!

Love photos of things in a row for some reason... I always think that there is meaning in seeing the whole picture instead of focusing on the one tree or "thing" in front of you...

Finally learned how to focus and blur the background!

These next shots make me nostalgic in advance... these are my final days in school! (probably forever!!!)

I am such a HUGE fan of cherry blossoms and dogwoods... Shameful that we only have them for a short time at the beginning of the year.

This is depth.

Raquel Buzz Words... and thoughts to follow them.

Law School: over in 56 days. Hallelujah!

New husband: at work... I miss him.

Photography: difficult, but exciting. I recognize my need for training and practice.

Work: I am boss. If I work for a traditional employer, then I am my boss with only one client. My ideal is to be a boss with many clients. Excited to see where that goes...

Art: still intriguing.

Immigration: still intriguing...

Money: necessary evil.

The "funnest" day of my life...

in photos.

...so far marriage is just sugary sweet!